Its been a long time coming, but the first batch of chicken books finally arrived at my door. These aren’t just any chicken books. Its a book I wrote but all family members contributed to every phase. The cover looks great. The story is funny. Its pictures are some of the best illustrations I’ve ever seen. From the story’s conception, its been the genesis of more than a thousand family smiles. For nearly two years we laughed about it every day.
Inside the book the artwork is fantastic. The illustrations are so colorful, the book is worth the price just for the illustrations. But the book is really hilarious and it eases you into the moral of the story. Its a chicken book which teaches about courage.
The Case of the Plucked Chicken belongs in the Family Project Hall of Fame.
Did I mention its one of the prettiest books ever?
Welcome to the world of the Flatulent Pumpkin. Its a fun world and magic. Of course there’s flatulence, but most of the time, almost all of the time, the huge orange vegetable did it, then did it again.
These stories are funny, unpredictable and more complex than your average child’s story. They are entertaining and captures the attention so well that children are tricked into learning lessons on character. Each story has its own theme. I’ll let you figure the theme to the first one. In the second story its easy to notice that the courage and responsibility of one individual saves the entire town. The third story has one of my favorite characters of all times. Since I’m trying to keep this the “no spoil zone”, I’ll leave you to find these lessons without me spoiling it for you.
These stories are not about human flatulence. They are more creative than that.
So let’s recap:
1. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are about magic!
2. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are entertaining!
3. Flatulent Pumpkin stories provides teaching moments!
4. Flatulent Pumpkin stories will make you laugh!
5. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are unpredictable!
6. There are three available and four more are planned.
These Creating stories about that would be no fun at all. Pumpkin stories are more creative than that.
One more thing! Here are one word titles of each story in order:
Dear Mr. Rodney, Daddy told me you were writing a book about flatulence. I just wanted to let you know, if you needed someone to do sound effects, I’m a girl who can fart on demand. Daddy made me prove it twice before I could send this message. Call me 🙂
It was the kind of workday that sucks the life out of you, so my two female co-workers and I sat gloomily at a table in the middle of the cafeteria. One of them brought up the fact that my three books are now available on Amazon. That’s when they started making jokes. These weren’t just any old jokes, they were fart jokes and they were good. One co-worker recounted scenario I originally named “Stealth Farting”. This sounded almost right so I corrected myself and re*titled it “Failure to Stealth Fart”. As I write this, I think the term is also not completely accurate. It’s really more like “Failure to Fart Covertly”. O.K., so this is still not perfect and I’ll get back to you if something better pops.
The jokes continued when my other co-worker started in on “Vicious Farting” then moved on to the classic “Dutch Oven” which, apparently, hangs around special relationships. The Dutch oven was the highlight of our lunch. Who cares that the rest of the workday might suck and that our table was getting a lot of attention from the cafeteria, our gloom was gone.
“The Flatulent Pumpkin”, “The Case of the Plucked Chicken” and “The Fart Who Came to Dinner” are ebooks available on Amazon and B & N. The instant these story titles enter the scene, people catch a case of the smileys and start giggling. I find this amazing that these books lift the mood among people who’ve never read them. The stories are about magic and I’m pretty sure that the magic in them is better than their flatulistic story titles. An hour later, while at my office, an unsuspecting co-worker comes by. What takes him by surprise is that one of my lunch partners brings up the book. He smiled, laughed and made his own jokes. We laughed with him because he’s funny and might be the most hilarious person we know. Seeing him crack completely up is a treasure. Perhaps it was meant to be that he came by our office on a day that sucked. He’s given me a new term to add to an upcoming book “The Pocket Guide to Cutting the Cheese”. He came by our office for serious work and got more than he bargained for. I’ll call it a “Momentary Flatulent Diversion”.
I want to thank each of my co-workers for such a wonderful day and your contributions to the flatulent universe. There is a term for what you’ve done and it’s already in one of the stories. I won’t spoil it now, but I bet that one day this new term will put a smile on your face.
Have a great day!
All of the first three stories have gone live in the ebook universes of Amazon and Barnes and Noble. There’s still so much work to do. The next story in this series is “Gone With the Wind”. Right now the story is planted in my head and only 20% is on paper.
You writers know that 20% unedited work really means that you are 0% done, and I thought I’d be further than that now. I’ve learned that when launching a book, this self publishing thing is all-consuming and I launched three at one time. *Kinda Kicking Myself* So this means almost no time to do anything else .
Let me take a moment to highlight something interesting. These pumpkin stories are humorous. The next one, GWTW, continues the humor trend while moving further away from fartaculating. Those of you who’ve read the Chicken might understand what that means. GWTW is a funny thrill ride which tugs at emotions more than the other stories.
Outside of this series I’m developing my first full length book which happens to be the polar opposite of the pumpkin series. Although there will moments of humor in this book, its all serious.
The Sheriff walked down the street thinking that he had to solve this case no matter what, and he had to do it fast. These runaway chickens were making it especially hard on the women. Some of them were being treated for a new condition the Doctor called ‘chickalunacy.’ This condition made them faint whenever they saw a chicken, someone asked them to cook chicken or make a chicken sandwich. There was a much more serious condition which made women run as fast as they could whenever they saw a chicken or heard someone say the word “chicken.” This might not seem so bad, but women were running into things and hurting themselves. The Doctor had named this condition ‘roosterrunaphobia’. There were so many cases of roosterrunaphobia, the hospital was completely full.