Category Archives: Books

Teaser from the Case of the Plucked Chicken

The Sheriff walked down the street thinking that he had to solve this case no matter what, and he had to do it fast. These runaway chickens were making it especially hard on the women. Some of them were being treated for a new condition the Doctor called ‘chickalunacy.’ This condition made them faint whenever they saw a chicken, someone asked them to cook chicken or make a chicken sandwich. There was a much more serious condition which made women run as fast as they could whenever they saw a chicken or heard someone say the word “chicken.” This might not seem so bad, but women were running into things and hurting themselves. The Doctor had named this condition ‘roosterrunaphobia’. There were so many cases of roosterrunaphobia, the hospital was completely full.

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Filed under Books, Fart, Flatulence, Funny, Humor, Magic, Writing

The Blast at the Kitchen Table

This is my first attempt at doing anything like blogging.  So I sat down and prepared for the wave of inspiration to wash over me and words would push forth onto he screen magically. Sadly, there were no waves of  inspiration. It was just me sitting at the computer with my hands on the keyboard. The computer screen stared back seemingly saying, “Diddiot, I’m waiting for you”.

About 2 years ago my family and I were having dinner at the kitchen table and an idea hit me. It felt like just another joke that left my lips. Little did I know it was more and would lead down a path-of-no-return. I can honestly say the idea burst onto the scene with a bang.

I’ll spare the details. However, it is fitting to say that the magic two words escaping my lips caused laughter. Minutes later, like a bowling ball going downhill, the laughter was still rolling and we kept having a blast.

Please understand that, at my home, dinner time is not very complicated. We do discuss serious things like work, school, plans and expectations. Most of the time we have fun. I would gladly wager that few families can top our dinner fun. We are not vulgar or anything of the sort. I’ll guess that dinner in our household is 20% nutrition, 20% serious talk, 20% family talk, 30% humor and 5% dog talk. Buddy is our beagle and, somehow, he commands his 5%. The other stuff comes to 5%.

The two words that cranked us up for an hour were “Flatulent Pumpkin”.

For a moment, let your mind wrap around a flatulent pumpkin. Then think, if a pumpkin were flatulent, wouldn’t it be cool if its flatulence did something other than move air and make you laugh?

Cool or not, that is all I’ll say on the blast at the kitchen table. I will invite you to imagine it.

It really was funny.

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Filed under Books, Fart, Flatulence, Funny, Humor, Magic, Writing