Coming soon, your very own “Flatulent Diversion”

It was the kind of workday that sucks the life out of you, so my two female co-workers and I sat gloomily at a table in the middle of the cafeteria. One of them brought up the fact that my three books are now available on Amazon. That’s when they started making jokes. These weren’t just any old jokes, they were fart jokes and they were good.
One co-worker recounted scenario I originally named “Stealth Farting”. This sounded almost right so I corrected myself and re*titled it “Failure to Stealth Fart”. As I write this, I think the term is also not completely accurate. It’s really more like “Failure to Fart Covertly”. O.K., so this is still not perfect and I’ll get back to you if something better pops.  
The jokes continued when my other co-worker started in on “Vicious Farting” then moved on to the classic “Dutch Oven” which, apparently, hangs around special relationships. The Dutch oven was the highlight of our lunch. Who cares that the rest of the workday might suck and that our table was getting a lot of attention from the cafeteria, our gloom was gone.
“The Flatulent Pumpkin”, “The Case of the Plucked Chicken” and “The Fart Who Came to Dinner” are ebooks available on Amazon and B & N. The instant these story titles enter the scene, people catch a case of the smileys and start giggling. I find this amazing that these books lift the mood among people who’ve never read them. The stories are about magic and I’m pretty sure that the magic in them is better than their flatulistic story titles.
An hour later, while at my office, an unsuspecting co-worker comes by. What takes him by surprise is that one of my lunch partners brings up the book. He smiled, laughed and made his own jokes. We laughed with him because he’s funny and might be the most hilarious person we know. Seeing him crack completely up is a treasure. Perhaps it was meant to be that he came by our office on a day that sucked. He’s given me a new term to add to an upcoming book “The Pocket Guide to Cutting the Cheese”. He came by our office for serious work and got more than he bargained for. I’ll call it a “Momentary Flatulent Diversion”. 
I want to thank each of my co-workers for such a wonderful day and your contributions to the flatulent universe. There is a term for what you’ve done and it’s already in one of the stories. I won’t spoil it now, but I bet that one day this new term will put a smile on your face.
Have a great day!


October 15, 2011 · 1:56 PM

6 responses to “Coming soon, your very own “Flatulent Diversion”

  1. I think the Dutch Oven is wrong. It’s harmful, cruel and unusual. I believe the United States Constitution protects me from this action.


  2. Fart jokes are always funny. They transcend class, race, religion… I think all the world’s problems could be solved if the world leaders gathered round to share fart related puns!


    • You are so right about that. That’s an interesting concept I’ll need to develop in the future. I’ve changed my site since you visiting yesterday. Would you mind telling me what you think of it now?